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The terrorists are at it again.  Those damn foreigners. 

Every year, the Foreign Press nominates celebrities for Golden Globe awards.  Now, I always thought the Golden Globes were a little off, because it seemed like every preview or commercial I saw for a movie during the months of December and January said, "Nominated for four Golden Globes!" and I'm like, "How can every movie be nominated for four Golden Globes?  Wouldn't that make for a whooole lot of of Golden Globes?"

Now I know something fishy is going on with these terrorists of foreign media.

This Friday, December 23, Stephen Spielberg's controversial new film, Munich, gets released in theaters.  It is about the aftermath of the Palestinian assassinations of 11 Israeli athletes during the 1972 Munch Olympics.

There is a lot of controversy surrounding this film, many saying that it is echoing the sentiments currently held by Americans that whenever someone attacks us we need to attack right back, and many (mostly the Jewish League of America) getting really pissed off at famously Jewish Spielberg for making a movie showing the Palestinian's side of what happened instead of showing them as horrible, evil terrorists.

Despite the controversy (or maybe because of it), there has been a lot of buzz around this movie, especially Oscar buzz, even though no one saw it until the first screenings occurred a week or so ago.

This is where I think the conspiracy comes in.

When the Golden Globe nominations were announced, I was shocked that Munich wasn't up for Best Movie - Drama.  Considering that everything I've read said it was a frontrunner to win Best Picture at the Oscars, and considering the Golden Globes have been 80% accurate in calling Oscar winners, I was very surprised. 

I would like to point out that the movie was, however, nominated for Best Director and Best Screenplay.

And that's when I realized the Golden Globes were a sham.

Entertainment Weekly has reported that no screener DVDs of the film were sent to Golden Globe voters, and the movie won't be released in theaters until December 23, even though the nominations were made at the end of November.

Munich wasn't nominated for Best Movie - Drama because none of the people doing the nominating have seen it.

But then you might be asking yourself, "Self, didn't I just read that it was nominated for its direction and screenplay?"

Yes, Self, you are correct.  It was nominated for those two categories.  That means even though none of the voters saw it, they still voted for it. 

Doesn't this undermine every nomination and win in Golden Globe history?  If a movie can be nominated for an award even though no one has seen it, doesn't that minimize what it means to win said award? 

Does the Foreign Press just nominate solely based on conjecture, buzz, and word-of-mouth?  Do they see any of the movies they nominate?  Do they even watch movies? 

Plus, if it turns out they aren't taking their nominations seriously, and many if not all of the Oscar voters select nominations and wins somewhat based on the Golden Globe nominations and wins, then doesn't this fact jeopardize every Oscar win as well? 

The Oscars are one of the biggest and most glamorous and most American events in America today.  It is the second most watched event of the year behind the Super Bowl.  It is when all the most important people in the country (famous celebrities) get dolled up and glammed up and spiced up and sexed up and walk the red carpet and actually let people take their pictures and give interviews and speak their minds.  It is an important staple of American society.

Could these awful foreigners be jeopardizing its meaning and value purposely?  Are they all getting a kick out of their faulty nominations and then watch in joy as we naive Americans eat it up?  Are they secretly laughing to themselves as they subtly try to destroy what makes us us? 

Isn't this just another form of terrorism?  Trying to strip us of what we love the most? 

I say we kill them all.  Eye for an eye.  Or, in this case, blood for golden statues.